G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

What's worse than being forced to watch a movie that was critically panned? Having to play a game from a terrible film. What could you possibly integrate into a video game that would make it playable if nothing is redeeming about the screen version? Guess we'd have to play GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra to find out.

The thing here is that we know we are heading into a mess. That notion also presents the idea that the game could be entertaining. The idea is based on what a poor game this will be. GI Joe: Rise of Cobra has all the earmarks of being a cult hit purely for the fact that it's all over the place. But we're making assumptions here - we better play it to make sure we haven't overlooked a testament to action-based game design.

Rise and Scamper

If you thought I was leading you to believe there might be something redeeming about GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra, I apologize. There is absolutely nothing that would showcase this game as one worthy of a hall of fame. Quite the opposite, actually. This game displays everything not to do when designing a game. It's almost comical how even the elementary mechanics are so wrong.

'GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra presents like a student developers portfolio project. The gameplay is arcade-like, with players running around, taking on seemingly endless hordes of enemies, only to add to a scoreboard. That could be a little fun in its own right if only the control schematics were decent and the combat mechanics didn't have the delivery of a potato.

The core gameplay almost makes it unforgivable that it even went to market. The narrative is boring, the dialogue is cringeworthy, combat is bland - the list is endless. This game simply doesn't work. It's made all the worse by the dire camera movements that players have absolutely no control over.

'GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is pretty shocking. But it's nothing we didn't really expect from a film that's been shortlisted for every Raspberry award ever. You still can't help shake the idea that it isn't hard for a studio to deliver an even mediocre game based on the lore of GI Joe. Why publishers even let franchises get ruined like this is beyond me.

Knowing Already Completes the Battle

The real question to ask is whether GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is actually a cult classic. We already knew that this was going to be a disaster. The opinionated answer to that inquisition is no - this game doesn't need to ever be picked up again. Nor does it need to be revered in any sense. There's nothing overly comical or redemption-worthy about gameplay.

Pros:

• The co-op gameplay can be casually entertaining for a little while

Cons:

• Combat is a pure mess
• Little effort put into every aspect of gameplay
• The narrative and dialogue are poor