Back in the good old Pleistocene days there were no such things as Sites of Special Scientific Interest, largely because the world itself was a huge big one. Considering that the residents of the day had so much fine and unspoiled countryside around them, you have to wonder why they didnt come up with the idea of ploughing it all up and building supermarkets over it. That way they wouldnt have had to spend time and energy running around and clubbing the rest of the biosphere to death simply to get something to eat.
This lack of foresight has left Prehistorik in a tricky position. His arch enemy Gorilla-Rap has grabbed his grub, and the only way he can avoid having to break out the Pot Noodle, is to grab his trusty club (all right, less of that, if you dont mind), and head out into the big wide sssi to rape the land and plunder its resources, while doing away with whatever wildlife happens to be in the way (the royal family would be proud of him).
Why oh why oh why oh why, I wrote to Anne Robinson only the other day, are we still having to put up with the same tired old ideas from purveyors of platform games? I refer to the recently released game Prehistorik 2, from the French software publisher, Titus. It adds absolutely nothing new or worthwhile to the genre. I wouldnt mind, but Titus seem to produce little but platform games these days and all of them are very much alike except for a change of scenery, music and sprites. All right, so this game is aimed at kids, but then so are Zool, Robocod and Magic Pockets, and they are all far superior. We software supporters deserve better than this, so come on Titus, give us something new for a change.
Yours hopefully, Disappointed of London.
p.s. Please could my letter not be read some poncey actor with a patronising voice. Thank you. So there you have it. What more can I possibly say, except that this should have been a budget release, and if youre that keen on owning it, youll probably not have long to wait before its re-released for a tenner or so. Meanwhile Im going to crawl back under my desk and finish my bananas.
When platform games were in their infancy (were talking Manic Miner here), it was fine to have every enemy in the game wander mindlessly back and forth as they do in Prehistorik 2. Thats not the case anymore. Play a game like Gods and youll discover just what a difference intelligent enemies make. They will find ways of attacking you so that it is more difficult for you to strike back, rather than simply dashing at you in a suicide run.
In Prehistorik 2, bonuses are just lying around to be collected. Not very exciting is it? Try something like Magic Pockets, in which normal bonuses are complemented by a rather clever gold and silver star system that can be manipulated to give you the big bonuses that you need.
Wow, Prehistorik 2 has platforms that move back and forth or collapse. Nice, but its been done before and things have moved on. Take a look at Robocod for example which also features springy platforms, hidden passages, steep slopes and plenty more.
There are secret areas to be found in Prehistorik 2, but they generally consist of a single room with a selection of bonuses. There are other places throughout the game that, if hit, will shower bonuses on you. Unfortunately finding these is so boring its not worth the effort. Zool on the other hand, has a variety of secret areas, All found in very different ways. One of them is even a complete shoot em-up level!
As you progress through Prehistorik 2, you do get better weapons, but while they get more powerful they dont really do anything different. In Trolls you can find a yo-yo which is not only used as a weapon, it enables you to swing from platforms too.
Download Prehistorik 2
- PC compatible
- Operating systems: Windows 10/Windows 8/Windows 7/2000/Vista/WinXP