The Settlers 7: Paths to a Kingdom
Most Of You could probably take or leave the Settlers series, the distinctly German town-management game that blends Sim City with Teutonic sensibilities like patience, numbers, thinking, and the least-affective sort of light-hearted visuals imaginable. But there's a focus on multiplayer now, which should be enough, at least, to raise the eyebrows of the island-based Europeans.
Through military, trade or science routes you must amass victory points to overtake your opponents, building your tiny village into a veritable empire and crushing all who oppose you under your sheer military, capitalist or scientific might. It should be good fun!
The Bigger Picture
Prestige is Settlers 7's take on XP, and as you increase in level you'll earn rewards allowing you to build better residences to raise your population cap, better shops for new units, or new roads, so that your settlers can scoot about even faster.
Pop Your Lations
You can't win a game of Settlers 7 with just a handful of idiots in your village. You have to hammer out a decent population cap by constructing buildings and workyards, which makes people so randy that they start popping out babies. Who'd ever thought that medieval capitalism would make people rather randy?
So Much Stuff
Just like in every game like it, you'll collect basic resources like wood and rocks and turn it into guns and hats without so much as a "how's your father". You can sell the crap you make, or continually refine it until it's a weapon of some kind.
Settlers are unique and lovely, some of them are clerics, others are generals who can influence and lead your armies, most of them are workers though, and scrawl about looking for resources before lugging them back to their workhouses.
Just like in the olden days, before people knew what the hell was going on in the universe, clerics are scientists. They study in one of three directions: agriculture, handcraft and science. As long as they don't accidentally disprove God.
Download The Settlers 7: Paths to a Kingdom
- PC compatible
- Operating systems: Windows 10/Windows 8/Windows 7/2000/Vista/WinXP
Hurray! It's Ubisoft!
Everyone loves Ubisoft, because they do that thing with their games! That thing with the internet when you can't not be on it while you play! In case you thought you might be able to get away with playing the demo offline, think again! Not only will you will need an Ubisoft account to play it, the always-online requirement is there, too. When we removed our network cable, we were politely informed we had to plug it back in if we wanted to build our city.
So, our goodwill already corroded, we decided to write the walkthrough in the style demanded of us by our angry, angry readers. If you're reading this, Ubisoft, we're only kidding. You can still send us our regular shipment of corruption jewels.
Watching These Games are almost as much fun as playing them, and that's not a back-handed compliment. There's something so calming about watching The Settlers' little cartoon people building their houses and living their lives, even when you know you're meant to be getting worked up about Ubisoft's DRM. Look how cute they are! Who cares that having to be online for the single-player is the worst idea since laxative bath salts?
Luckily, it's multiplayer that takes the focus in The Settlers 7anyway. As ever, the basic idea is still to build villages, set up a functioning economy and expand your influence to the heathen realms not yet under your iron glove, but this time that's the start. Winning is all about getting Victory Points from goals that can be anything from having the biggest civilisation to being the first to conquer an important landmark. There's no way you can pick up all of them, turning a series that's often been as slow as continental drift into a battle where every click counts - a scrap for points that can be stolen, a race to be first to others that you're positioned to grab.
The catch is that keeping all these balls in the air means an absolute ton of very German micromanagement, and The Settlers 7 isn't great at warning you if you've screwed up. This complexity isn't necessarily a problem, and there's a very solid game underneath, but definitely trust your gut to tell you if its pretty juggling act will be your thing.