Day Of The Tentacle

Have Hoagie use the red paint of the kumquat tree by the outhouse. Now go and challenge Washington to chop the tree down. Of course, in the future, the tree timbers! This frees Laverne but simultaneously leaves her to be captured by the tentacles. Now get Laverne to tell the guard she's sick and once the doctor departs take the tentacle chart from the wall and go back to the kennel. Make Laverne need the toilet and let the guard lead her outside. Go to the chron-o-jon. Switch to Bernard and have him go to the roof and get the flag crank and then flush it to Laverne. Switch to Laverne and flush the chart to Hoagie, and then direct her back to the kennel. Switch to Hoagie and have him go upstairs and put the chart on the pile of patterns in the Betsy Ross room. Now get Laverne sent back to the doctor. Sneak out and climb up the chimney, use the crank on the crank case, lower the flag, pick it up, and use it. She can now move about freely.

Making the super battery

The oil is on top of a cupboard in the colonial kitchen. The vinegar is a little trickier. Go to Franklin's room and pick up the bottle of wine. Go downstairs and give the bottle to Jefferson. Flush the can opener to Laverne and then switch to her. Send her to the colonial museum room and have her use the opener on the time capsule. Pick up the now vinegared wine from within and flush it to Hoagie. Have Hoagie go outside and get the letter from the mailbox. Flush it to Bernard. Have Bernard go to the suicidal designer's room. Give him the letter and pick up the flag gun in return. Go to the convention room and swap the flag gun for the lighter gun. Talk to the salesman and obtain an exploding cigar. Now open the grate in the corner and drive the chattering teeth into the grate. Close it quickly and pick up the subdued teeth. Now, grab the 'Help Wanted' sign from the window by the front desk. Flush the sign, lighter, cigar, and teeth to Hoagie. Get Hoagie to give Washie the cigar and then the chattering teeth. Pick up the blanket Hancock discarded and go up to the roof. Use the blanket on the chimney. Now go downstairs and grab the gold quill pen. Take the oil, vinegar and pen to Red, then pick up the battery, give the sign to Red, and collect the lab coat.

Go to the washroom. Pick up the bucket and the brush from the cupboard. Fill the bucket from the pump. Go upstairs to Washington's room and use the bed. Pull the bell cord and wait for the maid to appear. Leave the room and take the soap from the trolley. Use the soap with the bucket of water, go outside and wash the carriage. Follow Franklin to his room and give him the lab coat. Now exit to the exterior and help Franklin with his experiment. Put the battery in the pocket in the kite and push the kite. Now retrieve the fully charged battery.

Getting a diamond

Start by talking to Dr Fred about buying a diamond. Head for the kitchen and get both jugs of coffee. Go to the laundry and grab the funnel from the cabinet. Go back to Dr Fred and use the decaffeinated coffee on Fred's mug. Go upstairs to the Green Tentacle's room and take the videotape, then go to Nurse Edna's room. Switch to Hoagie. Direct him to the basement, pick up the left handed hammer and then head upstairs to the sculpture room. Switch the hammers and then switch back to Bernie. Push nurse Edna and put the tape in the vcr. Now use the vcr. Record the somnambulistic Doc Fred opening the safe. Use the sp/ep switch and play the tape back. Go to the office, open the safe and get the contract.

Climb up the fireplace and enter the open window. Pick up the rope and go back out of the window. Use the rope on the pulley and climb down the chimney. Head outside to dead cousin Ted and have Hoagie flush the red paint to Bernard. Use the paint on Ted and then use the rope on him. Go back to the roof and pull on the rope. Go through the window and exchange Ted for Fred. Attach the rope to Dr Fred, exit via the window and pull the rope. In the lab use the funnel on Dr Fred and use the regular coffee with the funnel. Give the contract to Dr Fred. When he won't sign tell him you'll beat the Purple Tentacle alone, and then get him to sign your petition.

Go upstairs to Dwayne's room and get the disappearing ink. Go to Ed's room and use the ink on the stamp album. Pick up the pony express stamp and use it on the contract. Return the album to Ed. Flush the contract to Hoagie and have him put it in the mail box. Switch to Bernard. Go to any tv and turn it on. Then go to the office, pick up the bankbook, use the phone and the diamond will soon appear on your doorstep (well. Dr Fred's doorstep anyway).

Winning the human contest

Have Laverne talk to the blue tentacle (once she is wearing her cunning disguise). Enter the contest. Flush the scalpel to Bernard and switch to the past. Pop Oozo the clown with the scalpel and pick up the box o' laffs. Then go into the kitchen and get the fork. Go to Green Tentacle's room and push the right hand speaker and then turn on the stereo. Go downstairs and collect the fake barf. Flush the barf, the box o' laffs, and the fork to Laverne. Flush the textbook to the past and then switch to Hoagie. Go to the colonial kitchen and get the spaghetti. Go upstairs and read the book to the horse, pick up the dentures, flush the pasta and the teeth to Laverne. Switch to Laverne. Go to the room with cousin Ted, pick up the roller-skates and use them on cousin Ted. Use the name tag on Ted and then push him.

Go to the contest area and use the fake barf with Harold. Use the wet noodles on the mummy's head and then use the fork on the noodles. Use the box o' laffs and the dentures on the mummy. Now go talk to the judges and win the contest.

Gettin Laverne into the basement

After the triumphant contest have Laverne go outside to the fence. Have Bernard flush the booboo-be-gone from the office desk to Laverne. Use the booboo-be-gone on the fence and follow the cat. Switch to Hoagie and have him go upstairs to the cat attic room. Swap the mattresses on the two beds, use the bed at the far end, pick up the mouse, and flush it to Laverne. Switch to the future and use the mouse with the cat. Go to the kennel and give the Club Tentacle certificate to the guard. Throw the switch on the wall. Use the cat with the prisoners and you can now get to the lock and into the basement.

Powering up Lavernes

Switch to Bf.rnie. Go to the front desk and take the flier from the rack, flush the flier to Hoagie. Go upstairs to the room with the sleeping guest, go in and close the door. Pick up the keys and go out to the parking lot. Give the keys to the masked man and go back to front desk. Use the crowbar on the gum, and use the gym. Pick up the dime from the payphone and go back to the sleeping guest's room. Put the dimes in the fickle finger's machine and take the sweater.

Use the crowbar on the candy machine and pick up the quarters. Go to Ed's room and take the hamster. Go to the ice machine and put the hamster inside. Go down to the laundry room and put the sweater in the dryer. Use the quarters with the dryer and switch to Laverne. Go to cousin Ted's room and get the extension cable. Take the hamster from the ice machine and thaw him out in the microwave in the kitchen.

Go to the laundry room, open the dryer, take the sweater and put it on the hamster. Go outside and use the extension with the chron-o-jon's power lead. Feed the extension through the open window. Go to the basement, plug in the extension and use the hamster with the generator. When you get punched out, switch to Hoagie. Have Hoagie put the flier in the suggestion box and switch back to Laverne. Use the vacuum on the mousehole and retrieve the hamster from the vac. Use the hamster with the generator again and Laverne will be ready to head home.

The grand finale

After being fused together, go upstairs. When Purple zaps you, go into Dwayne's room and go through the mousehole to the Green Tentacle's room. When you return to normal size, pick up the bowling ball and go down to the basement. Use the bowling ball on the guards and throw the sludge-o-matic switch. When Purple Tentacle confronts you, talk him into zapping Dr Fred. Sit back and watch the end sequence.

Listen to this plot carefully. You will have to concentrate. Mad scientist Fred Ed Edison has a lab. He spends a lot of time in it, a-cackling and a-rubbing his hands, he has two pets, Purple Tentacle and Green Tentacle, who look, literally, like the blunt end of an octopus appendage, suckers and all. Eds lab secretes a continuous flow of toxic waste into a nearby river, and it is here where all the trouble starts. Purple takes a dram from this eco-unfriendly sludge and -via an incredible radio-active mutation process - sprouts arms, turns evil, and becomes hell-bent on world domination. So its up to Bernard (the computer geek), Hoagie (the heavy metal roadie), and Laverne (the neurotic medical student) to stereotype their way through past, present and future to change history, rectify the damage, and boldly go where Monkey Islands I and II have pretty much been before.

Outlook

You pick up the story at the point when Bernie and his pals crash Eds lab to rescue the Tentacle brothers, unbeknownst to you. Purples gone a bit Saddam in the head. Ed decides to use the Chrono-Johns (Tardis-like toilets) to send this latter day Scooby-Doo gang back to yesterday to turn off the sludge-o-matic machine before the tentacle can take that fateful sip. Unfortunately it all goes a tad wrong. Hoagie is stranded 200 years in the past, jammed between George Washington and Thomas Jefferson with no electricity and only a repertoire of dude speak to find a way back. Lavernes stuck in a kumquat tree in the year 2193 (plus shes neurotic, plus shes a token woman) while Bernie stays more or less where he is (being a computer geek), trying to raise two million dollars to buy a new diamond so that the time machine can be repaired.

Oh, problems, problems, problems. But there are two plus points. In between healthy quips about American culture, our hapless trio can: (a) flush objects back and forth through time to aid each other: and (b) since they are in the same location plus or minus 200 years they can alter the past and present to change the future - or alter just the past to change the present, or, for that matter, make a subtle alteration to the present to drastically shift the future, or, indeed, send something back from the future to change the past and thereby warp the present (its all very complicated).

The graphics

The graphics in Day of the Tentacle can be neatly encapsulated in the word snazzy. The past, present and future zones are all depicted in a cartoony altered perspective: sort of a cross between Hanna Barbara and Salvador Dali. It works very well; all manner of sloping walls, angular circles, weird shadowing, and mind-altering colour palettes create a likely setting for the ridiculous plot. The cartoony characters, superimposed across the background, have no problem, as you might have expected, in 'going in and coming out' of the 3D screens. Everything is rounded and polished by amusing cut scenes - time travel sequences, meanwhile scenes, and rotating news flashes on the Purple Tentacle's progress - to give an overall not-a-computer-game-more-of-an-interactive-episode-of-Scooby-Doo feel. The bizarro look goes well with the bizarro humour, which is well...

The humour

Ive got a little problem with Day of the Tentacles humour. In the first place, its very studenty. Now, Im a prime candidate for student humour. Ive made as many bum-tit-willy jokes as the next Home Economics student. Doy of the Tentacle is rife with student humour, but its American student humour. Which is a whole different kettle of tits, as my bum will tell you. Try this example. Bernard tries to buy a rather expensive jewel over the phone:

Bernard: Uh, Id like to buy the diamond please.

Person: That will be two million dollars please. Have you any major credit cards?

Bernard: No, but Ive got an atm card.

Bernard: (pausing for full effect) Well, I thought it would be useful when I got it.

Huh? Wa-? Do what? Come again? Couple this with a few Declaration of Independence one liners, Bill and Ted style bogus chit-chat, and a running joke about a log, and youve got a pretty alienating (and unfunny) tone to the whole game. The Monkey Islands skirted this trap by having a fairly universal theme and setting, namely piracy and er, Monkey Island. Day of the Tentacle, being set in America and with you playing American students, ends up being more of a tongue-in-cheek edutainment affair than a full-scale gag-a-rama for we poor Brits.

The sound, too, has been maximised for full comedy effect. Or at least it would have been if the digitised speech hadnt been delivered in awful Eldorado Markous 1 am being riding a horse type deadpan. The long cartoony intro is packed with samples but Come over here so I can punch you is said in the same way as Id like a croissant please, and Oh no. Youve freed the Purple Tentacle is said as tonelessly as Thats a nice bowling ball. The music, however, is suitably jocular, and the odd sprinkling of sound effects add a certain something.

The verdict

Overall, however, the result is not as good as Monkey Island or Fate Of Atlantis. Although Day of the Tentacle beats both hands down on graphic style, it falls down with its StarsnStripes-o-meter rating, its in-jokey humour, and its limited range of locations. If you want to pause (quite poncily) for a second and talk characterisation, Bernie, Hoagie.-and Laverne, being stereotypes, are all a bit dislikeable and you dont actually care what they do or what happens to them. The dialogue suffers as a result, and all the quips and amusing character quirks which made you grin (faintly) and endear you to the characters in Monkey Island, just annoy and alienate you in Day of the Tentacle. But saying that, the graphics and clever-clever puzzles will keep you going for a good few hours, and with a sound card, youll be having all your friends saying cor. But, you may feel, as I did, that youre sitting-in on an episode of a new Transatlantic sit-com, except youve missed the first six episodes and youve no idea whos who or whats what and, apart from the odd-one liner and interesting plot turn, youre completely bewildered.