H.E.D.Z.: Head Extreme Destruction Zone

What the hell is going on? Is Nintendo legend Shigeru Miyamoto developing for the PC? Obviously not. But if you want a cute, original and downright surreal 3D puzzler firmly in the Nintendo mould, Hedz is the one.

Hijacking elements from Atomic Bomberman, Super Mario 64 and others, Hedz is a flying, running, shooting, bouncing platform party with a brain twist.

It's Worzel Gummidge gone crazy, except instead of those grubby old straw heads, you can strap on legendary bonces such as Elvis Presley and Muhammad Ali. Make sense? Of course it doesn't - this is one game you have to play to truly understand. So if you've got ten quid to spare, we strongly suggest you get your head round this - you'll be gobsmacked.

Overview

You are a purple-skinned, green-eyed, cheesy-smile-wearing alien competing against your kind in a massive head-hunt. Each head has a different power which you possess by wearing it. Collect as many as you can and keep the best ones on hand for the larger battles to come.

The game boasts hundreds of different heads and their associated powers, providing thousands of variations and surprises and hours of entertainment ... Right.

Gameplay, Controls, Interface

This is quite possibly the worst game I’ve ever played. Gameplay is not fast and furious; it is confusing and dull. While there are indeed many, many heads to collect, the special effects and/or powers of each head are often so similar to another one that you get tired of seeing the same thing over and over.

Graphics

It's like someone spruced up the Wolfenstein 3D engine a little and sent it to market. It is really not that great, and while it is true 3D, it just doesn’t look that good. Outdated technology should not hold a fun game back. However, the models and their actions in the game are bad enough that I can’t glean any enjoyment from looking at the funny heads my competition is wearing.

Audio

Uninspired sound effects and corny music plague the game.

System Requirements

Windows95/98, 4X CD-ROM drive, 16 MB RAM, 150 MB hard disk space, Pentium 166 or higher, 2 MB graphics card (DX5.2 and 3Dfx card recommended), 16-bit compatible sound card, 28.8K modem. And that’s just the minimum. It's despicable that a game like this needs that much horsepower. Half-Life will run on a P133, for crying out loud! This game ought to run on my 486.

Documentation

Each command is fully documented in the CD case manual. No problems there. The documentation makes you think the game might actually be fun, but don’t be fooled.

Bottom Line

In case you are thinking that maybe the game was designed for a slightly younger audience, I offer the following. My son loves sitting with his father playing just about any game that comes along -- first-person shooters, RPGs, real-time strategies, whatever. He just likes spending time with me that way. He was begging me to turn it off within five minutes. He’s never done that before.

Truly, this game is not worth anyone’s time. Don’t even take it from the bargain bin.