Hysteria Hospital: Emergency Ward

Hospital Waiting Rooms freak me out Perhaps I'm being a bit Howard Hughes, but they're full of sick people. I can't even sit in my GP's waiting room without holding my breath for as long as possible, or masking my mouth and nose with my T-shirt. Diseased people go there. And they keep breathing on everything. And they touch things too.

Anyway, perhaps the NHS would be cleaner and more efficient and our American friends less terrified of government-run health services, if government targets were like the goals I in Hysteria Hospital. Made it through the day without killing a patient? Then strike the air with your first as sparkly stars rain upon you! Maybe medical staff would be more enthusiastic about their jobs if each 'day' was referred to as a 'level'. Of course it might also help if diseases colour-coded peoples' heads, thus speeding up the process of diagnosis.

That said, if hospitals were like Hysteria Hospital then all the staff would develop back problems from dragging patients around by the head all day, and then commit suicide having realised that their life had become a series of ever more complicated, yet fundamentally identical, levels with no end in sight, and no purpose beyond the acquisition of high scores.

As if such a life wasn't enough, they'd probably also despair over the fact that the whole world was a badly-animated 2D facsimile.