SPLATTER SCHOOL

While it may not be perfect, Splatter School is a lewd game that I got a real kick out of as it reminded me (and I am sure many of the rest of you) of a certain old school game series. This is a lewd side-scrolling action game and one that I think with a bit more polish could easily be like a 9/10 kind of video game. I had fun with this, but I will be the first to admit that I did have to overlook a few things in order to have as much fun with it as I did. If you can do this, I am sure you will have a good and very gory and sticky time with this game.

That’s Why They Call This Splatterhouse!

Before I get into the meat and potatoes of what Splatter School is all about I have to talk about the elephant in the room and that is the title. Clearly, this is a play on the epic Splatterhouse series which I loved in the arcade, loved even more on the Sega Genesis and I consider the 2010 Splatterhouse remake to be one of the greatest horror games of all time! Anyway, I think if you are a fan of those games you will appreciate this more as it is a fun and very XXX take on that series.

What The Heck Is An After School Nap???

The premise of Splatter School is something that I thought was a great deal of fun. We play as a high school chick who is having an after school nap. Firstly, I love the way it says this like an after school nap when you are in high school is a regular thing, if it is I sure as hell have never heard of it. She is rudely awoken by the alarm at school and she discovers that her classmates are being devoured by these evil monsters and now she needs to fight her way through the school to save the day or at the very least, save her own ass. It is not super story driven, but I got a kick out of it all and found it to be more than enough of a reason for me to be killing all these demons and monsters.

Jumping And Kicking Saves The Day

Look, Splatter School is a kind of clunky game as far as the gameplay goes. You walk from left to right, killing anything that gets in your way and every few levels you have a boss to fight. The game has a real old school soul in the way that enemies have a pattern and they stick to it, that is something I liked, but once you know their pattern, they never do anything new. The game gives you some items to use like a pipe (just like in Splatterhouse) However, I found the items to be more limited as you cannot jump and attack, honestly, you can cheese your way through the whole game with the jump kick and the hitboxes on the enemies are very generous so the game is very easy. It is not bad or broken, but it does feel like it needs more polish.

The Green And Sticky Stuff!

Splatterhouse was known for being super violent with blood and goo all over the place and it was awesome. Splatter School takes that to a whole new level, but as well as monsters doing violent and evil things, they are ravaging this poor chick in every way that they can. While I like the 2D style of the game and the grotesque monster designs which I think are very fitting for a XXX take on Splatterhouse. I will say that the actual sex in the game was more gross than sexy and did nothing for me. I actually found the way our MC’s dress would lift up and we could see her panties to be the hottest thing in the game.

Pros:

• I liked the way this was inspired by Splatterhouse
• The chick is very cute
• The game is very hardcore with its XXX monster porn
• I got a kick out of its old school soul

Cons:

• The game is rather clunky, easy, and certainly needed more polish
• I found most of the XXX CGS you unlock to be more gross than sexy