UK Truck Simulator

It's Unlikely That lorry driver' features very highly on most people's list of ideal jobs. As a dream vocation it's been, rightly, shuffled behind astronaut, Formula One driver, fighter pilot and being Tiger Woods.

While there's naturally a certain life-on-the-edge thrill to ingesting medically perilous amounts of Red Bull, subsisting entirely on a diet of palate-searingly molten Ginsters pastry products, and gradually becoming psychologically unhinged by the endless solitude broken only by the occasional hitchhiker who you pick up hoping the line "So, a ride for a ride?" works, it's not exactly a desirable existence. In spite of this, SCS Software continues to create games that attempt to capture the glamour of long-distance haulage.

Bizarrely though, the company's ambition seems to have contracted with each new release. SCS used to make romanticised odes to American trucking that encompassed the USA and bits of Canada and Mexico. With Euro Truck Simulator it was a smaller area, and with less variety. Now with UK Truck Simulator, all we have is Britain's green and pleasant land. And boy is it green.

There's barely any variety across the game world, which means that if you were in danger of slipping out of consciousness and jackknifing your truck into a bus full of orphans during the previous games, you're in serious trouble now. When you get to the cities themselves, they tend to be Identikit industrial parks with the odd landmark visible in the distance - even the bright lights of London lie tantalisingly beyond your reach. It seems the curse of the lorry driver is that you only ever see the most tedious corners of cities you visit.

If you have a desperate yearning to experience the life of a UK truck driver, then why not become one? At the very least you'll be getting paid real, honest-to-goodness cash money while the monotony of the road causes the last flickers of electrical activity disappear from your withered, atrophied synapses.