Alpha Prime

There's Something Unsettling about an FPS that comes out of nowhere. Even the very worst FPS games tend get a bit noticed, mainly because of press releases that shyly claim "unprecedented realism" and "immersive gameplay".

So, for a game that's had close to zero press in the UK, it's a surprise to report that Alpha Prime isn't, well, all that bad. The script may be Europengrish delivered with stilted ham-sodden madness, and there's very little to rescue the game from mediocrity, but Alpha Prime looks good, plays OK and sounds - well, it sounds like an insane Italian guy.

The plot revolves around space prospectors who've been driven mad by the stuff they're looking for. This 'hubbardium' - take that, Scientology - could be a safe metal, but could just be a mythical creature's bones. Refined hubbardium has the side effect of charging up a bullet-time bar, which is bloody convenient for a modern FPS.

The other gimmick is a hacking tool for controlling doors, machines and cameras. It's not an evolution of gameplay, and the Al is straight from the Academy of Box-Hidey Standbang. You've played a dozen games like it but maybe you enjoyed them. This quiet end of the FPS world is populated mainly by atrocious stinkers, and it's usually only the hilariously bad gameplay that makes them bearable. Alpha Prime, with a passable storyline and passable gameplay, is a little passable anomaly.

The worst thing about this game is that I don't get to laugh at how shit it is; sadly, I can't really gush about how great it is, either, because it's not.