Chessmaster 9000

Martin Korda thinks that Medieval: Total War is the pinnacle of strategy games on the PC, but he seems to be forgetting the granddaddy, the ultimate strategy fest, and the game that takes minutes to learn and several hundred lifetimes to master - kids today, don't know they're born. This is the definitive PC version and the Chessmaster series has been around since Korda was in shorts, but with Al that was going to challenge all but the elite in the game in place years ago, the only new features in 9000 are cosmetic, and even these are few and far between.

Unforgivably, it still has the same archaic interface that makes getting into a game or selecting a board that's actually useable the equivalent of pitting your wits against a grandmaster. I suppose that when you're capable of thinking 127 moves ahead, juggling an infinite amount of moves in your head and struggling with deeply paranoid thoughts about communists and whether your opponent's playing footsie with you under the table, coding a few buttons and a front-end of the game that are intuitive to human beings is a bizarre concept.

Aside from new spinny-rotatey boards the additions to Chessmaster 9000 consist of a course on the Psychology of Competition by International Master Josh Waitzkin (as boring as it sounds), a new Endgame Quiz from five times chess champ and Grand Master Larry Evans, and a new blunder alert feature that tells you when you've made a complete arse of yourself. Online and LAN options are still here, and, well that's about it. It's chess. It's not worth buying if you've got 8000 (although it's probably worth a punt if you're still playing the original from 1986) but a bargain if you want to improve your game or play people across the Internet while wearing lady's underwear. Whatever rocks your boat.