Thief

Thief is a hot mess. Not only does this reboot pale in comparison to contemporary stealth efforts like Dishonored and Splinter Cell: Blacklist, it can't even manage to offer a more compelling experience than the 16-year-old original. Where that game offered sandbox levels with plenty of opportunities for emergence, this Thief gives only cloistered corridors, a handful of predetermined pathways, and more lengthy, blindsiding loading screens than I've seen in any game for the better part of a decade. The combat system feels half-finished, with awful animations and a single attack that can be mashed for easy victory. Sneaking isn't much better, since the Al lacks the intelligence and consistency necessary for real tension or fun. The only saving grace here is the immersion: Antihero Garrett's nimble fingers actually interact convincingly with every object in the environment--no small feat.

I Something went very wrong during Thiefs development--that much is evident just playing Eidos' hol-lowed-out shell of a reboot. What storyline there is to speak of feels stitched together from the tattered remains of earlier versions, keeping to the shadows feels performative as opposed to encouraged, and The City is so washed out and bland that it's hard to muster any interest in its fate. The closest thing to fun I had was earning enough Cheevos to push my Gamerscore over 30K--which, honestly, who cares?

Wow, you two gents don't like your girls on the sassy side, eh? While I actually enjoyed Thiefs goofy narrative in a weird way--including spunky klepto sidekick Erin--sneaking, stealing, and sidling all proved exercises in extreme frustration. The denizens of The City either stood there, glassy-eyed, or they'd react to the slightest finger twitch. I know you're a Blacklist tan, Josh, but I will say that I found Thief s button-press interactions more responsive than that game--but that's about all it's got on Sam Fisher.