Time Gentlemen, Please!

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a game by Zombie Cow Limited
Platform: PC
User Rating: 9.0/10 - 2 votes
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See also: Puzzle Games, Point-and-Click Quests
Time Gentlemen, Please!
Time Gentlemen, Please!
Time Gentlemen, Please!
Time Gentlemen, Please!

Have You Ever wondered what the shape of AIDS is? No? Well you needn't worry as Time Gentlemen, Please! provides you with the answer anyway. If you think that's a peculiar situation to find yourself in, then this game isn't for you. In fact, if you're the kind of person who lives in a steel-plated vault to avoid the evils of the world, TGP! is probably akin to playing through the Satanic Bible.

V\/e don't mean that in a Manhunt! Daily Mo/7-abhorrence kind of way, but more in a Mock The Week way. The lack of principles is something the developers are fully aware of, and they continually drag up the dregs of decency in the name of humour, until all that's left are the shredded remains of your morality. And then they take a dump on them. It's one of the most outrageous games I've ever played and for that alone I love it.

Where else could you have a game that revolves around a pair of timetravelling idiots who come up against Hitler and his Nazi Robot Dinosaur army. Instead of red and black swastikas, there are coat hangers adorning '40s Europe, as National Socialism is thrown out the window. It seems Adolf's quest for genocide was nothing compared to the search for a golden coat hanger. The game is absolutely barking mad, but eventually there reaches a point where crazy becomes unquestionable genius. Being an indie title, it means there isn't any publisher censorship. It's allowed the guys to let their imagination run wild. You can expect toilet humour aplenty as jokes concerning erections, poo and racial stereotypes - there's even a racism meter that can be adjusted in the options - are driven home on a minute-by-minute basis.

Low-brow hilarity is the only thing present - popular culture is taken advantage of as Star Wars. Back to the Future and British TV find themselves exploited for your benefit. Combine that with self-referential quips and you'll find it difficult to keep a straight face. Oh, and if that wasn't enough, it's got old men being shot in the cock.

Terminator-style complexities aside, TGPI's gameplay is generally on the ball, even if its narrative is jumping through time on a drug-fuelled trip. It's your archetypal adventuring affair; you combine a variety of items to get past whatever is standing in your way. As with any logic-based game, the problem solving favours those with a keen eye for detail. Occasionally the game's puzzles could have benefited from more signposting, but on the whole, as long as you're not nursing a hangover, you'll be able to work out what goes where.

It's all brought together with a minimalist design - the hand-drawn looks bringing the humour to life. At only $2.99, you'd be hard-pressed to ask for more. From a friendly robot professor called PAL to a clown who makes obscene sex balloons, if you connect with the game's humour, you'll be in adventuring heaven. If not, return to your prudish life, heathen.

Download Time Gentlemen, Please!


System requirements:

  • PC compatible
  • Operating systems: Windows 10/Windows 8/Windows 7/2000/Vista/WinXP

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