Cultist Simulator

Cultist Simulator is a morbid card game about starting your own cult. The game opens with just a single card on your game table, and a single tile to place it on. The card is “menial labor” and there is a work tile to place it on. Once players do, they receive a paycheck for this combination. They also receive an understanding of the game in it’s entirety.

As simple as this game sounds, it is anything but simple. Over time new cards and tiles are added to the table, with different functions when combined. Random events can appear from these cards, and not all of them are good.

Sometimes illness or depression can appear on the cards, and the player will have to find some way to defeat it before it defeats them. Death is common in the game.

Lots of Gameplay

Cultist Simulator is a very long game. Even failed games where the player dies can last a few hours before it becomes evident this particular round isn’t going to work out. This means the game has a lot of value for its price, but also has some drawbacks.

The biggest drawback is that certain tasks can get very repetitive over the course of several hours. In particular, the job tile mentioned earlier can be particularly repetitive since it’s a daily part of life.

Another annoying factor of the game is that while cards can easily be placed, it doesn’t lock the tiles to the table. The result is players must either deal with crooked looking cards or spend an unnecessary amount of time trying to make their cards line up properly.

If you were expecting Cult of the Lamb, you’re in for a big shock. Although there are similar themes, live sacrifices, and other shared storylines, gameplay is completely different. Cult Simulator is closer to a blend of Solitaire and a Lovecraft novel.

One Play Wonder

Although it could take a player hundreds of hours to finally win the game, once they know how the game works and what choices will lead where, the atmosphere and mystery of the game disappears. Changing jobs only slightly changes the variation, so it’s not really surprising or novel to win a different time.

No Voice Acting

There’s no voice acting in the game, but it’s not especially necessary. The game relies on text messages, written dialogue, and the story of the cards themselves to weave a story. Many players find the game makes no sense at the beginning, but as they dig in and read more about the lore, it all starts to click together. The author of the game put a lot of effort into the lore and writing style of the game, making it truly one of a kind.

Pros:

• Exquisitely written plot
• Many hours of gameplay

Cons:

• Very grindy