Keepsake

Lighthouse interactive, THIS year: "Onto Keepsake. We've got a few maths puzzles - thanks, Terry - and some lovely pictures of fountains. All we need is the animations and script. How're they coming along?" Some coughing from the end of the table. "Can the dragon be a dog? I can't do the wings. And Toby reckons it doesn't matter what people say if they talk in a shrill whine."

Keepsake is a mini-Myst adventure with toe-curling characters and a few nice puzzles. You first meet Mustavio, an Italian trader who makes Mario sound like Isaac Hayes. And if his castrato screech doesn't finger your gag-switch, then your game-long companion is a cowardly dragon trapped in a husky's body, who's scared of heights and screams at virtually every door you come across. Can you imagine? How irritating that is?

Keepsake might not anger and nauseate a very young audience, and with the game's theme of a couple of girls who swapped dollies and promised to be best friends forever, you might buy this for your least clever daughter. There's even an in-game walkthrough that tells you in excruciating detail what to do next (luckily, as your immediate goals veer from obvious to huh?). Plus, it explains and solves the intermittent puzzles, should you get stuck and start crying.

If you've got a daughter or effeminate son who's just finished Barbie's Glitterpurse Academy, then Keepsake might not be awful. Just make sure they wear headphones.