X-Blades

To Say I'm underwhelmed by X-Blades is a huge exaggeration. Some passersby even laughed at me while I was playing it. Is that tha reaction developers Gaijin would have wanted to elicit from people? The whole thing is just, well, naff. You play a girl (for she clearly doesn't look old enough to be called an adult) who likes to explore ancient ruins for artifacts, while wearing virtually nothing. Seriously, if this wasn't related to a game, you might be arrested for looking at pictures of the main character online.

Your character's name is Ayuini, even though she doesn't look Japanese or even vaguely Oriental. In fact, her voice is something you might expect in a US teen comedy. The only thing missing is the "like, you know, whatever" line every two seconds. She starts off looking for an artifact of 'unimaginable power', but things change quickly. On her quest, she must fight thousands upon thousands of enemies, who spawn and rush her almost constantly. There are a lot of enemies, but you won't really care, as you'll have fallen into a coma from clicking the mouse so many times.

To add some variety, you can purchase skills and so on using the in-game currency: souls. Kill enemies and you assimilate their souls, which you can then spend on new abilities. These are actually vital to succeeding, as some enemies can only be defeated by certain types of magic (dark, fire, ice and so on). Despite this, there is virtually no depth to the combat at all, just click, click, click, press Q, click, click, jump and repeat.

There's really no reason you'd want to play this, unless you like looking at the pert buttocks of a young girl while clicking the mouse button a thousand times a minute. We're a permissive bunch really, but this strays too far into Gary Glitter's territory for comfort.