Alexander: The Heroes Hour
Alexander The Great is one of history's most revered military commanders, and by the time of his early death he'd conquered most of the known world, a vast empire that stretched from the Balkans to the Himalayas. He was a Cavalry commander, a king, an emperor and possibly a bit gay. He was not, as this game suggests, the head of a Greek special operations unit. Contrary to what you might expect, Alexander: The Heroes Hour (sic) doesn't allow you to play as the great Macedonian leader. Instead, you simultaneously control three of his best friends', Bilikidi, Ekhedem and Megacles, who together use their dubious skills (as archer, swordsman and barbarian, respectively) to smite Alexander's foes as he carves himself an empire.
Taking aside the setting, which has obviously been quickly erected to elicit as much money as possible on the back of a certain Hollywood blockbuster, the game is possibly one of the worst examples of action role-playing I've ever played. For a start, you can't create any characters - you start with what you're given and that's that. And yes, the experience points and dropped loot comes thick and fast, but so do the (not terribly bright) enemy soldiers: in places, these are spawned in such vast numbers that it's simply impossible to play the game.
The rest of the package is just as comedic; the manual is badly written, as is the in-game dialogue. Plus, the soundtrack is a bizarre fusion one can only describe as ambient Mediterranean folk disco -which is perhaps the most authentic part of the whole game. Avoid at all costs.
Download Alexander: The Heroes Hour
- PC compatible
- Operating systems: Windows 10/Windows 8/Windows 7/2000/Vista/WinXP