Star Wars Lethal Alliance
Bad guys in the Star Wars movies can't hit the broad side of a futuristic space-barn. While that's funny enough on the big screen, it makes for some brain-dead videogame gunplay in this third-person action-shooter. Sure, you've got fancy bullet-time acrobatics you can whip out (wasn't that your favorite part of the flicks?), but the risk of cartwheeling off of an instant-death ledge is greater than any threat posed by nearsighted morons who drop if you look at them funny. It's doubly a shame since the game forces a bunch of jumping puzzles on you--which would've been fun if not for these problems. In fact, all the control and death-ledge issues remind me of Shadows of the Empire (N64), only it's 10 years later and we get a more attractive ass wiggling around in front of the spastic camera. Progress.
Even if you're a Jedi-loving junkie, don't force yourself to play this cheapo Star Wars adventure. Sharkey is totally spot-on when it comes to the slippery controls. In fact, I was my own worst enemy--I met my death more from stupidly falling off ledges than I did by the blaster of any baddie. But if you can actually keep your feet on the ground, the combat can be kinda cool. Using your robo-buddy to get through levels makes for some interesting situations, but the constant teamwork gets way too repetitive...and annoying--what idiotic architect designed every planet in the galaxy with a bunch of switches that can only be accessed by a stupid droid? And too bad the autotargeting is way more harmful than it is helpful--accidentally shooting exploding barrels sure is a dumb way to die.
Hey, I kinda like Shadows of the Empire, so that comparison isn't too troubling to me. I generally agree with Sharkey, but to a lesser degree. I like some of Lethal Alliance's ideas, such as using your droid for both combat and platforming purposes, but they're pulled off in a very mediocre fashion (due to the aforementioned brain-dead A.I. and instant-death ledges). Even with my "I dig all things Star Wars" glasses on, I still realize this is an average-at-best game.
Hot chick doing slow-mo robot-straddling cartwheels...
...right off a damn ledge and into a load screen