I Was Looking forward to playing Painkiller: Resurrection. It was a chance for the inexplicably long-running series to be kicked up the bottom and become fun again. It's just a pity that whoever was entrusted with doing this missed spectacularly, booting the franchise right in the face and toppling it dizzily back into the depths of mediocrity out of which it was desperately trying to climb.
The writing was on the wall, I suppose, as the developer's only other game was the disastrous Anderson and the Legacy of Cthulhu. At least they've managed to make a better game than that, although to be honest, that's about the only real thing to praise Resurrection about: being better than a game that got a big splat of a Dump award in 2007.
Basically then, this game's dog shit. It plays pretty much exactly like Painkiller and, despite claiming to be a refined engine, looks pretty much the same as the original Painkiller. And, to top it all off, it's far, far worse than the original Painkiller.
I suppose I'd better tell you all what's going on quickly so I can get back to criticising the game. You play a guy who accidentally blows up a bus full of civilians (and three mobsters in a car) in a Max Payne-style cartoon strip. You then materialise in Hell with the swishy blades weapon from the original game.
Then you kill some enemies that wink into existence right in front of you before being swamped by ghosts you can't seem to do any damage to. Luckily, they disappear for some reason after a while and you find the fabled stake-firing gun.
At that point the game crashes. You reload, but it crashes again. And again.
Sadly forced to ignore the stake gun, you plough through the level, killing popup creatures along the way. There's a big winding ladder that you can climb up, but it is wretchedly designed and you keep falling off. Eventually, you get to a big hall of monsters and you find an object. Is it a new weapon? You pick it up and the game crashes again.
Still interested in buying it? Didn't think so.