Catwoman

IF ever a scabby moggy was let out of the bag way before its time, EA's latest movie-to-game franchise is it. The risible plot involves heroine Patience Phillips's murder after stumbling upon yet another dastardly corporate conspiracy. Resurrected as Catwoman, she now possesses the agility and intuition of a cat. Not a lion. Or a tiger. Not even a panther. Just a cat. The kind of pet your nan would have.

In her quest for revenge Catwoman prowls across rooftops using her Cat Sense and slinks across mesh panels Prince Of Persia-stylee. You'll also indulge in Capoeira-esque close-quarter combat and earn bonuses pulling off trick moves like Scaredy Cats and Alley Cats. Unfortunately, less dodgy cameras reside in Peckham market, while fiddly controls coin a frustrating experience that's less fun than a double heart bypass.

Aside from atmospheric lighting effects, Catwoman is uninspiring to behold, filled with gloomy, coarsely textured levels. Star of the show is undoubtedly S&M fetishist Catwoman herself - leave this minx alone for a mo and she does a virtual lap dance. Audio is similarly bland, combining a token subDanny Elfman score with repetitive effects. Although Ms Berry provides her sultry vocal talents, Catwoman's dialogue tends to drip cheese rather than sexual innuendo. Sadly, some superheroes are fundamentally lame. Perhaps if Catwoman was a little more tongue-in-cheek - a la NOLFs Cate Archer - the melodrama on offer might be more palatable. As it is, this mangy specimen should be put to sleep immediately.

On the Silver Screen:

They say dog is man's best friend. But for a woman named Patience Prince (Halle Berry), a cat turned out to be a real lifesaver. After discovering a cosmetic company scandal and being bumped off by her boss, it's good-bye to mousy Patience and hello to feral sexpot crime-fighter Catwoman. Oh, and this isn't the Catwoman from Batman... some other Catwoman. Really.

On Your TV

As a healthy, active feline, this kitty craves action--and lots of it. Expect sexy stalking and all manner of catlike acrobatics. "Catwoman is quite special in the way she uses her special abilities to move and hunt like a cat," explains Executive Producer Richard Leinfellner. "There are more than 100 moves, and she fights in a low-down capoeira style, just as she does in the movie." You'll scratch up the bad guys using your time-slowing cat sense, whip flicks, and high-heeled groin kicks. Me-ow!