Towing Simulator

The Most Surprising thing about Towing Simulator, other than it actually exists -seriously, I'm reviewing a simulator about towing parked cars away. This is actually a thing - is that it isn't the only entrant in the genre of vehicular removal simulations. There's another one out there, Tow Truck Simulator 2010. There's apparently enough of an interest to support two strands of this patently absurd application of computer code. It's PES and FIFA all over again.

You can only hope that Tow Truck Simulator 2010 is better than this game; that it has been crafted by people who really care about towing illegally parked cars away, as Towing Simulator is so sloppily produced it can't even get its own name right. The box says 'Towing', the title screen in-game calls itself 'Tow Truck'.

Towing Shame

Playing the thing is no better. There's more enjoyable gaming to be had de-worming a rabid dog (better graphics too). You have a whole minicity to patrol yet all the cars to tow handily cluster around your depot.

Missions ask you to tow 15 cars away but give you no option to reload a saved game if you invariably mess up. Surely this shouldn't be so hard to achieve? It's not like loading a saved game is a new, untested science.

Cars get stuck on invisible pixels as you haul them up giving rise to physics demonstrations that would have Newton spinning in his grave, punching through the coffin roof and hunting down the programmers to infect them with his zombie poison for betraying his beloved science so badly.

Supposedly you get better vehicles and equipment as you progress, but unless we're talking Half-Life 2's gravity gun, they won't make this game interesting. In fact, this is easily the most pointless game I've encountered in the history. Well done to everybody involved with it.